Sunday, July 13, 2008

“Silent Scream”

I laugh, I talk too much, I drink and worst I love night life (disco lang). I am a man of leisure. People describe me with such qualities. It may not be strange to other people for these qualities would probably common by most of the people living in a secular life. Indeed people outside appreciated me for who I am but not in the seminary. My life is somewhat contrary to what people perceive as a seminarian. I was branded as noisy person who always get drunk when weekend comes.

Living in the seminary is a serious journey and so it follows that it really needs a serious response. Considering my personality perhaps people would think that I am incapable in responding such serious demands. I may be judge as shallow person with only jokes and senseless thoughts in mind. I am not affected with this because I know myself more than they do. I am more than what they think. Human person cannot be judge with what can be perceived. They are absolutely wrong, and so, I just want people to know that I can do greater things and not just imprisoned by such description. I am noisy but I have a peaceful heart and mind who knows how to balance things. I talk too much but I know how to listen when somebody needs me and most especially to listen into the depths of my being. I drink and frequently get drunk but this is my way of recharging whenever I feel exhausted and a time to be with myself. I sometimes find myself in disco bars but I also find myself always in prayer and meditation. Though I look like very worldly through my words and actions I still maintain my intimate relationship with my God.

Through this personality I have gained lots of experiences and build up relationships to people I met in all walks of life. Every bit of experiences that I have with these people is an opportunity for me to reflect, to pray and to love.